Vientiane and Vang Vieng, Laos: Mushroom shake, anyone?

This story begins with what would become known as the 24 hour "hell ride'" from Hanoi in Northern Vietnam to Laos' capital, Vientiane. We pull up in our tuk tuk to the bus station with our big backpacks, only to find that the Vietnamese woman running the bus treats foreigners like southern blacks in the 1950's. As we filed onto the bus, she pointed all of the whities to the very back, where seats don't lean back and our feet would have to rest on top of luggage. Don't forget the bad suspension. After sitting down, we realized that all of the locals were sitting at the front, and there really were no reserved seats. As we were discussing whether to revolt or not, we saw that the crazy Vietnamese woman was now insisting that an English couple split up, with one filling the one remaining middle seat in the back, and her boyfriend sitting the next row up. The two pulled a Rosa Parks and sat firmly next to each other in seats in the middle of the bus. The Vietnamese woman started screaming at them in Vietnamese and raised her fist to threaten the boyfriend. "You cheeky bitch!", the girlfriend retorted, with her strong Burmingham accent. After witnessing this incident, we decided enough was enough, and the rest of the foreigners moved up around the couple in solidarity. The Vietnamese woman muttered a few insults and marched outside. She ordered all of the foreigners' bags to be removed from the storage below the bus, and to be thrown on its rooftop in the sprinkling rain. All to make room for the locals' luggage. There was nothing we could do. So we just went along for the ride....24 hours - no air conditioning, locals spitting on the floor, chickens clucking from boxes stored in the back, stopping once every 30 minutes to pick up more passengers who were then placed on plastic kiddie chairs that lined the center of the aisle. Everytime the bus stopped for a pee break, the people lining down the center often stayed in place, and you would have to monkey your way over the top of them. Because we were traveling for 24 hours, everybody had to find a way to sleep. So the man sitting in the kiddie chair in the aisle next to Erik would do his best to fall asleep sitting up, but would ultimately end up with his head planted on Erik's shoulder. At the border, they kick you off the bus with no direction, and you kind of just wander like cattle through the crossing. While the extortion from the immigration officers wasn't as bad as what we experienced in Cambodia, we still had to pay them $1 for every stamp if we wanted to get our passports back. As you can imagine, the laid back atmosphere and delicious French pastries waiting for us in Vientiane were more than appreciated.

Vientiane is probably the most easy going, quiet capital of any Southeast Asian country we've been to so far. We ate lots of yummy, French-influenced food (including the best steak we've had so far on our trip). Kick back with a Beer Lao (the best tasting beer in SE Asia) in a roof top bar overlooking the Mekong river and life feels so perfect.

We visited one of the few buddha-filled temples that remain after occupation by Siam (Thailand):

We ran into our Irish friends, Peter and Marion, on the street and celebrated with a Beer Lao "tower" (a 4 liter unit with a dispenser and ice column in the middle) at a local bar.



The Mekong River at sunset (you can see Thailand on the other side):

Vientiane's small version of the l'Arc de Triomphe.

We went climbed the stairs to the top and saw a few monks hanging out:

Here's the view from the top:


Erik in the morning:

Pha That Luang - also known as the Golden Stupa - is the national symbol of Laos:



After 4 days taking it easy in Vientiane (of which none were spent getting our Visa, d'oh!!!), we hopped back on the bus to head north to Vang Vieng, also known as Laos' Disneyland for backpackers. There is not even the slightest trace of Lao culture left here, but we're not gonna lie, we had a friggin good time. And you'll see why....

First off, the scenery is beautiful - with the Nam Song river backdropped by tall limestone karsts:

We struck a great bargain on a guesthouse along the river - built just 3 weeks ago, it had a big bed with a fluffy duna, large flat screen TV, hot water shower, large balcony, and amazing views. By negotiating to pay in advance, we got the price knocked from 150,000 to 100,000 kip per day (about $12). Sweet!!!

Plus our guesthouse was back to back with the famed Bucket Bar - the best night spot in town. (The name is a reference to the buckets of mixed drinks that you can purchase at happy hour prices):


During the scorching hot days (high 90's), most people rent inner tubes and hop into tuk tuks that bring them to the top of the river. As you slowly meander down, there are techo-pumping bars all along the shores of the river that try to lure floaters into their bar by tossing them a water bottle tied to a rope, and reeling them in. Entrance into the bar usually earns you a free Tiger Whisky shot, and from there the party just begins.


Booze buckets with multiple straws for sharing, big bottles of Beer Lao for 10,000 kip ($1.25), mushroom shakes, opium tea, massive tarzan-like rope swings and zip lines that send you flying and drop you 20+ feet down back into the river. It was not uncommon for drunks to do their swinging stunts in their birthday suits. One drunken individual looking to showoff his manhood to the ladies while conquering the rope swing started to pull off his swim trunks, only to look down and realize that he was well, looking a little less impressive than he had hoped (due to the chilly water). "Damn! I'm lookin a little small!" Erik was standing right behind him in line, staring in drunken confusion as the guy grabbed his willy between 2 hands and went to town on it like he was trying to start a fire, meanwhile explaining, "gotta get it bigger." After becoming satisfied with his work, he dropped his pants, and threw himself onto the rope swing....oh, YES. true story.

Here's Erik on the zip line:

One of the river-side bars in full party mode:

Here's a pic of Erik and I with our English friends, Ben and Emma. We met them in Vientiane and ended up getting along so well that we traveled with them all throughout Laos. This is us on our first river run:

The local kids love swimming around in the river, messing with the foreigners. Here's one little rascal that popped up in my inner tube.


Our crew:
A lot of travelers' get so hooked to the lifestyle in Vang Vieng that they actually end up getting jobs at the local bars and staying for months at a time. There was one legend among them who has basically give up on life and is known to have floated the river 94 times. A lot of the foreigners who work in town hang out around the bars on the river to scribble advertisements for their night specials on willing drunkards' bodies. Apparently I was one of them:


Side note: Luckily, we didn't partake in the joint smoking because we later found out that everyone at Sunset Bar ended up getting busted by the po po.

Emma thoroughly enjoying her booze bucket:

The final bar had a huge slide and a volley ball court. After sunset, there was a huge dance party around the bonfire.



A typical Vang Vieng scene: all the drunks coming home from the river.

Vang Vieng town after sunset:
An advertisement for the "cave with water in the cave".

We signed up for a day trip with Ben and Emma that took you tubing into a cave filled with water. Because there was no current, everyone pulled themselves along a rope.

This is a picture of a guide from our tour, explaining the stories behind the artwork in the "Elephant Cave". Apparently there is a Lao legend that there is a mermaid who rescues people from the Nam Song river. The only catch is, you can't touch her perfect "bleafs" (the guide's pronunciation of "breasts") or she'll drop you back in. The tour guide used this story to lead into a lecture on the difference between good monks and bad monks. According to him, the bad monks are the ones that go and watch the foreign girls swing on the ropes at the bars over the river and take pictures of their big "bleafs" with their cell phones.

The next day, we got together with a couple other travelers and took a tuk tuk to a nearby lagoon with blue, icy cold water:


Here we are hanging out, listening to music and playing cards in a grassy area next to the lagoon:

Ben getting a much-needed chop job - haircut backpacker style:
Hanging out by the river near our guesthouse:


We had so much fun in Vang Vieng, that we decided it would be the ideal party spot to celebrate my birthday (March 1st)...I'll just let the pictures do the talking....




And from the river, onto the after party at the Bucket Bar...

I love this girl (Emma!!). We're gonna haul her and Ben out to Seattle for the wedding.


BORAT!!! EWWW - We actually met this guy earlier when he jumped off the tarzan swing in these duds (or would it be this dud?).


Erik, Ben, and Emma made this honestly one of the BEST birthdays of my life. Too much fun.

Thank for reading guys,
second half of Laos coming up really soon!
xo
Megan and Erik