And finally, they were here! We picked them up at Phuket airport and took a taxi back to our guesthouse (Touch Villa) on Patong Beach. We spent the next couple days lounging/frying on the beach and exploring Patong's sleazy whores-galore neon nightlife....
Erik had to wear sunglasses when he took this picture because Brian reflected so much light:
Brian being Brian - posing next to Ronald McDonald assuming a greeting "Wai" pose - McDonald's Thai style....
I am horrified/proud to admit that our diet for our second night in Patong consisted solely of these items: 
Throughout the whole trip, Brian consistently napped like a newborn infant. Here he is after baby's first day at the beach...[Note: If he were sleeping on his belly, you would notice that his entire backside was completely burn-free. I lathered his back with sunscreen like Martha Stewart rubbing oil and spices on a Christmas turkey - unfortunately, he seemed to have missed a few spots on his frontside...]
The main drag on Patong Beach, lined with bumping girly bars, underground ping pong ["pussy magic"] shows, and foreign-owned bars:
The Thai girls behind the bar try to challenge customers to play Connect Four. If you win, you get a free drink. If you lose, you have to buy them the special "Lady Drink", which costs a whopping $5 (really expensive for Thailand). The thing is, these girls are pros. You will always lose. I learned this the hard way :P The thing is, bringing in revenue for the bar and earning themselves a free drink is only half the reason they do this. Busting out Connect Four gives them an excuse to engage in lengthy conversation with potential after-hours customers.
Many of the hookers along this stretch of road are in fact "lady boys" - for the ones that are post op, many customers could go through the experience none-the-wiser...but for others...it's a jack-in-the-box suprise!
Ooh lala
Two days later, we booked it out of Phuket and grabbed a boat to Ko Phi Phi. We had actually been there a week earlier to scope out the area, so some of the pictures are from then, and others from our time with Ryan and Brian.
Taking a longtail boat to Long Beach:
One of the gorgeous secluded honey-mooner beaches:
Oh, those European babes. Let's just say, the boys were happy. Boobies and booties galore.
Happy times sitting on Tonsai Beach:
Sunset on our favorite Ko Phi Phi beach (Long Beach):
Erik and I went to Apache Bar on Tonsai Beach to check out their fire dancing show. [We went to an even sweeter one with Ryan on the other side of the island, but didn't get any pics...]
Flaming jump rope - after the Thai guys showed off their skills, all of the drunkies staggered over to try and jump the flames and avoid getting any 3rd degree burns.
We also checked out a lady boy beach cabaret show - we even got to take a picture with our favorite manly star. Don't worry, we are not actually coping a feel.
Papaya Restaurant: the best Thai food, in all of Thailand. Lonely Planet, you have redeemed yourself for bringing us here. Deliciously huge and cheap portions of cashew chicken, spicy papaya salad with peanuts, panang curry, and Ryan's staple, chicken fried rice. It's run by a local Thai family who owns the coolest cat in the world. When she wasn't nursing its little babies in a cage next to the kitchen, she was chilling out in her favorite cubby. Can you spot her?
The four of us stayed at Banthai Guesthouse, owned by this rad Thai/Chinese lady who called herself Ms. Lee and learned the names of every single guest staying at her place. She kinda had a little thing for Ryan and told him that if he shaved off his beard he would be "very handsome" and when booking tickets to Koh Lanta, suggested that she tag along as Ryan's date. We loved her.
2-4-1 Long Island buckets at rooftop Banana Bar. Doomed for disaster from the start.
Ryan says I should play the lottery - Not only did I run into a girl that I worked with at Joey's at a 7-Eleven in Bangkok, but when we were in the lobby of our guesthouse in Patong, I bumped into Marielle and Caitlyn, two girls that I had known since we were little Island Park Eagles in elementary school. We met up with them again in Ko Phi Phi and formed a little gang of 6 to rove the beaches during the day and crash the parties at night.
The trail up to the lookout is also the evacuation route in case of future tsunamis. [For those who didn't know, Ko Phi Phi was devastated by the tsunami that hit in December of 2004] 
Here is the view from the top, overlooking Tonsai Bay (on the right) and 
Erik, Me, and Brian overlooking the island: 
Ryan, Brian, Erik, Marielle, Caitlin and I booked an all-day snorkelling and siteseeing boat trip around Koh Phi Phi Don (Big island) and Koh Phi Phi Lay (Little). We were pumped because it not only included all of our snorkeling gear and a delicious midday lunch, but also boasted a stop at Maya Bay where Leonardo Dicaprio's office box hit, The Beach, was filmed.
10 minutes out from the port, we arrived at our first stop. Our "tour guide" didn't speak any english, so he just cut the engine in the midddle of the choppy water, handed us our snorkeling gear, pointed to the water below, and said "snorkel". 20 minutes later, we were back on the boat. Even though we didn't get much time in the water, I was pretty pleased with seeing a fish that looked exactly like a chubby cow - white with black spots and a fat body shaped like a football. The longtailman started the engine backup to continue on our way. We were put-putting along just fine, when all of a sudden, the engine coughed, sputtered, and flat out died. Unphased, our expert mechanic/tour guide resolved to picking up a rusty wrench off of the bottom of the boat and beating the engine with it. As if it were the logical solution. As dark clouds began to roll in, the situation started to look dire, and Caitlyn and I grabbed our bright colored life vests and began waving them in the air like desparate maidens and tried to flag down a passing boat. Eventaully a boat stopped and began towing us back in. 
Brian and Erik at the entrance to the bay. In the movie, they used CGI to fill in the gap, making it look as if the bay was completely encircled. It could only be reached by scrambling over the interior of the island and gathering up the courage to jump off a waterfall. Oh Leo, you're so brave. 
Ko Phi Phi was one of our absolute favorite destinations. Gorgeous white sand beaches, clear water, good snorkelling, a small pedestrian-only town, full of friendly local Thais and fun, young backpackers and short-term vacationers. 
I am horrified/proud to admit that our diet for our second night in Patong consisted solely of these items:
Throughout the whole trip, Brian consistently napped like a newborn infant. Here he is after baby's first day at the beach...[Note: If he were sleeping on his belly, you would notice that his entire backside was completely burn-free. I lathered his back with sunscreen like Martha Stewart rubbing oil and spices on a Christmas turkey - unfortunately, he seemed to have missed a few spots on his frontside...]
The main drag on Patong Beach, lined with bumping girly bars, underground ping pong ["pussy magic"] shows, and foreign-owned bars:
The Thai girls behind the bar try to challenge customers to play Connect Four. If you win, you get a free drink. If you lose, you have to buy them the special "Lady Drink", which costs a whopping $5 (really expensive for Thailand). The thing is, these girls are pros. You will always lose. I learned this the hard way :P The thing is, bringing in revenue for the bar and earning themselves a free drink is only half the reason they do this. Busting out Connect Four gives them an excuse to engage in lengthy conversation with potential after-hours customers.
Many of the hookers along this stretch of road are in fact "lady boys" - for the ones that are post op, many customers could go through the experience none-the-wiser...but for others...it's a jack-in-the-box suprise!
Sipping overpriced Heinekens at a girly bar:
Ooh lala
Two days later, we booked it out of Phuket and grabbed a boat to Ko Phi Phi. We had actually been there a week earlier to scope out the area, so some of the pictures are from then, and others from our time with Ryan and Brian.
Sitting out on the deck of the speedboat on the way to Ko Phi Phi:
Erik and I played frisbee with a little Thai kid on backpacker Tonsai beach. The frisbee would come at him and he would just plant his feet and hold his hands out, hoping it would drift down to him. But the wind would usually just blow it right past him. He was a good thrower though.
Taking a longtail boat to Long Beach:
One of the gorgeous secluded honey-mooner beaches:
Oh, those European babes. Let's just say, the boys were happy. Boobies and booties galore.
Happy times sitting on Tonsai Beach:
Sunset on our favorite Ko Phi Phi beach (Long Beach):
Erik and I went to Apache Bar on Tonsai Beach to check out their fire dancing show. [We went to an even sweeter one with Ryan on the other side of the island, but didn't get any pics...]
Flaming jump rope - after the Thai guys showed off their skills, all of the drunkies staggered over to try and jump the flames and avoid getting any 3rd degree burns. 
We also checked out a lady boy beach cabaret show - we even got to take a picture with our favorite manly star. Don't worry, we are not actually coping a feel.
Papaya Restaurant: the best Thai food, in all of Thailand. Lonely Planet, you have redeemed yourself for bringing us here. Deliciously huge and cheap portions of cashew chicken, spicy papaya salad with peanuts, panang curry, and Ryan's staple, chicken fried rice. It's run by a local Thai family who owns the coolest cat in the world. When she wasn't nursing its little babies in a cage next to the kitchen, she was chilling out in her favorite cubby. Can you spot her?
The four of us stayed at Banthai Guesthouse, owned by this rad Thai/Chinese lady who called herself Ms. Lee and learned the names of every single guest staying at her place. She kinda had a little thing for Ryan and told him that if he shaved off his beard he would be "very handsome" and when booking tickets to Koh Lanta, suggested that she tag along as Ryan's date. We loved her.
2-4-1 Long Island buckets at rooftop Banana Bar. Doomed for disaster from the start.
While we were partying on the rooftop, we met these hilarious Irish guys and drunkie girl and formed a big raucous group.
Ryan says I should play the lottery - Not only did I run into a girl that I worked with at Joey's at a 7-Eleven in Bangkok, but when we were in the lobby of our guesthouse in Patong, I bumped into Marielle and Caitlyn, two girls that I had known since we were little Island Park Eagles in elementary school. We met up with them again in Ko Phi Phi and formed a little gang of 6 to rove the beaches during the day and crash the parties at night.Here we are on Long Beach playing Windows/4-Corners.
After the beach, we went back to Ms. Lee's place, got all cleaned up, and put on our party faces...
Drinking and dancing on the beach, 15 or so of us travellers (Americans, Brits, Irish) ended up banding together into a big party group. Of course, with a group that large, on the beach, booze flowing, someone inevitably suggested skinny dipping. Without any second thoughts, everybody just stripped off their clothes and sprinted their white bums down toward the ocean. We all felt so rebellious. So we just kept running, digging our feet in the sand, water swishing around our ankles. After running for a good quarter mile through ankle deep water, everyone was huffing and puffing, someone asked, 'Hey guys, why isn't the water getting any deeper?" Erik shouted, "I don't know! Let's just keep going and see what happens! It has to get deeper eventually..." As the crowd pushed onward with high spirits, shouts of pain bounced between us as we realized that we had run into patches of jagged sharp coral. What we didn't realize is that because of the gradually sloping nature of the bay, low tide meant that you'd really never hit deep water unless you wanted to go for a 1 mile jog through ouchy sea urchins and sharp coral. Unwilling to be defeated, we settled for rolling around in the little shallow pockets of knee-deep water. Eventually the girls got bored and slinked back off to the beach to collect their clothes. The guys were unfortunately too engaged in conversation to notice right away - but as soon as one of them gained a moment of clarity, he pointed out that the females had departed. "Oh, goddammit." - they all stared at eachother standing in a ring, awkwardly trying to conceal themselves. The sausage ring broke up pretty quickly after that...This had to have been the worst skinny dipping adventure ever attempted. Ever.
And then there was Baxter. There was this beach dog who scruffed around in the sand and partied with our group every night. We nicknamed him Baxter because he looked exactly like a larger version of Mr. Bergundy's scruffy dog on Anchorman. He would always inspire people to shout out lines from Anchorman - "Baxter...you pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate a whole wheel of cheese? I'm not even mad. I'm impressed." Or "Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish." Marielle spent one evening trying to teach him how to dance on the beach. He couldn't quite get his steps right, but he did succeed in snatching a big mouthful of her red dress and ripping a big hole in the back to reveal her polkadot undies.
The next day, we went on a small hike up to a viewpoint overlooking the whole island.
Here are the manly men glistening after their workout...
The trail up to the lookout is also the evacuation route in case of future tsunamis. [For those who didn't know, Ko Phi Phi was devastated by the tsunami that hit in December of 2004]
Here is the view from the top, overlooking Tonsai Bay (on the right) and Lo Dalam Bay (on the left), with the main town sandwiched inbetween. You can see here the low-tide conditions we were fighting on Tonsai Bay during our skinny dipping nightmare.
Erik, Me, and Brian overlooking the island:
Ryan, Brian, Erik, Marielle, Caitlin and I booked an all-day snorkelling and siteseeing boat trip around Koh Phi Phi Don (Big island) and Koh Phi Phi Lay (Little). We were pumped because it not only included all of our snorkeling gear and a delicious midday lunch, but also boasted a stop at Maya Bay where Leonardo Dicaprio's office box hit, The Beach, was filmed.
10 minutes out from the port, we arrived at our first stop. Our "tour guide" didn't speak any english, so he just cut the engine in the midddle of the choppy water, handed us our snorkeling gear, pointed to the water below, and said "snorkel". 20 minutes later, we were back on the boat. Even though we didn't get much time in the water, I was pretty pleased with seeing a fish that looked exactly like a chubby cow - white with black spots and a fat body shaped like a football. The longtailman started the engine backup to continue on our way. We were put-putting along just fine, when all of a sudden, the engine coughed, sputtered, and flat out died. Unphased, our expert mechanic/tour guide resolved to picking up a rusty wrench off of the bottom of the boat and beating the engine with it. As if it were the logical solution. As dark clouds began to roll in, the situation started to look dire, and Caitlyn and I grabbed our bright colored life vests and began waving them in the air like desparate maidens and tried to flag down a passing boat. Eventaully a boat stopped and began towing us back in.
Then, out of no where, the engine suddenly sputtered back to life. Our longtail driver took this as a sign from Buddha, shrugged his shoulders, and directed us back on our way. We all doubted how long the engine would last, but were determined to get our money's worth, since it is a well known fact that refunds do not exist in Southeast Asia. 20 minutes later, just as we were about to reach our second destination, the engine busted again. D'oh! And this time the wind was pelting fat raindrops like nails into our backs. We all hung our heads as Mr. Mechanic started beating the engine once more. We knew we were done. Shivering in our swimsuits, we just bundled up in our life vests and busted out our waterproof cards and passed the time playing Yanith while we waited for another tow....
Fortunately, our favorite Miss Lee convinced the tour company to take us to Maya Bay ("The Beach") the next morning for free since we never made it out there. We all double, triple checked that we were not taking the same PMS-y boat that we did the previous day: the notorious Pornthip. 
Here's me in my fashionable makeshift vest-diaper outfit. I should be on Project Runway.
Fortunately, our favorite Miss Lee convinced the tour company to take us to Maya Bay ("The Beach") the next morning for free since we never made it out there. We all double, triple checked that we were not taking the same PMS-y boat that we did the previous day: the notorious Pornthip.
Our awesome longtailman even stopped at a snorkelling spot on the way, which proved to be one of our best snorkeling experiences - tons of coral, anenomes, sea slugs, and tropical fishies.
And we finally reached Maya Bay ("The Beach")...(No Leo sightings though...)
Brian and Erik at the entrance to the bay. In the movie, they used CGI to fill in the gap, making it look as if the bay was completely encircled. It could only be reached by scrambling over the interior of the island and gathering up the courage to jump off a waterfall. Oh Leo, you're so brave.
Ko Phi Phi was one of our absolute favorite destinations. Gorgeous white sand beaches, clear water, good snorkelling, a small pedestrian-only town, full of friendly local Thais and fun, young backpackers and short-term vacationers. For our final two days together, Brian and Ryan decided to spoil us all with a little luxury. Or maybe we should say big luxury. Ryan booked a suite at a resort on a nearby island called Koh Lanta and the next day we found ourselves strolling into a P. Diddy worthy vacation getaway. For those last 2 days, all we did was indulge ourselves in delicious food, sip King Kong cocktails at the poolside bar (light rum and pineapple juice), roll in our fluffy beds, lay out in our lounge chairs, jump in the waves, watch MTV music videos on our giant TV's, lounge in our balcony bathtub, and play frisbee on the beach at sunset. Check it out baby....
We had SUCH an amazing time with those guys. It was actually really hard to see them go. They reminded us of how fortunate we are to have such great friends and how excited we are to see you all when we come back to Seattle at the start of June. 6 more weeks baby!
xoxo
megan and erik
